Healing a Broken Heart
Whether it be a breakup, a makeup, an argument or constant relationship problems if we haven’t gone through them ourselves we know someone who has. Most of us know firsthand what it’s like to have these sorts of issues. When it happens to someone we know, let’s not forget what we needed most in our own time of healing.
5 Ways to Help During the Healing Process
- A balance between space and knowing when to be there. When life is handing us lemons sometimes we forget to make lemonade. When a friend is going through the healing stage they are sometimes going to need hours of your time in person or on the phone for a listening ear. Other times they are going to need time alone for days or even weeks. So don’t take it personally if all of sudden after talking with them every day you stop hearing from them. This is all a part of their healing process.
- Stay out of it. Unless the situation warrants a call to the police, whatever your friend is going through is their business. Sometimes we feel the need to offer advice when instead we should focus on listening and giving our support.
- Don’t judge. A girl on the show I Survived inspired this article when she said something that made me stop and think. After her relationship landed her boyfriend in jail and her with reconstructive surgery she said so many times people asked her why she didn’t leave sooner. The question she thought should be asked is why her boyfriend did what he did. Often we are quick to judge the victim and overlook the real problem. This type of counseling isn’t going to help anyone.
- Be respectful. Just because someone is having problems in a relationship doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. Despite their issues it’s important to respect their decision to stay in the relationship or get out of it. Unless the law is being broken or someone’s life is in danger, we need to respect the decisions that are made.
- Let them take control. One of the quickest ways to alienate a child, family member, significant other or friend is to make them feel they have no control. Even when we may not agree with the choices made, they are still their choices to make. We learn best by our own mistakes, and success tastes that much sweeter when in our hands.
Everyone experiences difficult times in a relationship. When a loved one is going through one of these experiences, be sensitive and supportive without judgment or disrespect. Make sure your words and actions help to heal rather than cause more pain. And when you have to go through it, know that friends and family don’t always know what to say but they will always be there for you.
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